What I didn’t expect was that I’d find the confidence to look for love again. After my ex had left, I felt so unlovable. My self-esteem was in my boots, while my ex-partner was out socialising with younger women. I felt old and invisible by comparison.
Simply receiving cuddles from Caspar and Winter made me feel worthy of love once again. In the ‘cat-mum’ role I’m judged beyond my capacity to party, or dissect politics, or for my youth or looks. Not once have I been criticised for a comment or an outfit.
I’m a provider, I give my cats a roof under which they can live, play and explore. They’ve helped me to feel important again, and not just a number on the wrong side of 30.
With my new-found confidence I logged back onto dating sites. I was called a crazy cat lady more than once and it’s a stereotype that can hold women back when it comes to finding love. One man’s Tinder profile specifically stated ‘no Crazy Cat ladies’ so to some we’re seen as women to avoid, which was why it was so important that I reclaimed this label.
If I can find two loving cats to live with online, I’m sure a nice guy and a loving relationship will naturally follow suit.
At the time of reading, I will have had my first date with David, a musically-inclined farmer with a big ginger beard. We bonded over our interest in animals. His profile picture showed him holding a calf and it spurred me on to set up drinks at my local.
I still very much feel that having my two cats come into my home and care was meant to be. A blessing. Fate. I feel more complete and more of a ‘unit’ – we’re like a mini family. They give me the same kind of feeling of ‘oneness’ that I’ve had in past relationships.
It was their regular, reliable and stable affection that helped me move on from my break up. My cats give me unconditional love and in return they get all their needs met (plus a little catnip).
They have taught me that true love is about just being there, at all times, and not just the best or stable times. That a hug after a bad day goes a long way.
They have given me the reassurance that everything is going to work out. Past relationships may not have been right but that doesn’t make me an unworthy candidate for romance and affection.
Caspar and Winter were, like me, abandoned through no fault of their own, and like them, I too deserve love.
10 comments
I would think most of us on this site are "unconventional love pets" - thats a hard hell yes!
I'm a cat dad, and Simba definitely loves me unconditionally... I literally rescued him. Poor fella was stuck up on a roof with no food and no water... I climbed a ladder and took him something to eat and after he finished it, I was able to gain his trust to let me pick him up... oh my god, he dug his claws into my shoulder so deep while I was carrying him down, there were scars for weeks!
I wasn't planning on having a fur baby, but I couldn't let him stay outside and abandoned... I've had him for four years now, and it's so heartwarming that he comes running to the front door meowing his little head off whenever I come home, it's like "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH DAD!"
Pets are great companions, although not the best for conversation 😉
I'm glad your cats are helping you heal
don't all relationships start out that way?
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