Good Afternoon, blogland! I thought I'd drop by because I have something on my mind that I need to get out of there, and honestly, there isn't anywhere else that I'm safe doing so. I mean, those of you who know me in real life are like VAULTS, and the rest of you are in the cone of silence because you don't know me. FYI, it isn't sexy time stuff. Sorry. You can stop reading now if you want. I don't mind.
If you are still reading, then you maybe know that I am a "woman of a certain age", meaning I turned 57 this year. I find that absolutely CRAZY to think about. This fall is my fortieth high school reunion. The only one I went to was year fifteen. I'm looking forward to it, I think. I have discovered that I have aged pretty well. 
That's right, I can pass for about 42, I think. Not everyone has aged well, and I don't think I'm going to feel like the ugly duckling that I was in high school. I talked to my hair stylist, and I think I'm going to do some reaallly long hair extensions as a fun thing to do for the reunion! I haven't ever done hair extensions, so it should be a wild experience. But that isn't what I wanted to get off my chest.
Recently on another, mainstream social media site, there was a trend through my friends where you were asked to post your longest-term friend that you were still friends with. One of my friends posted that it was me, and that we have been friends for over 50 years AND that I am the only friend who stood by her through all those years. THIS is what I wanted to get out.
I am not very good at keeping in touch with people. Social media has been a real boon to me with that, but before, I was very much "out of sight, out of mind". Not REALLY, but I lost touch because I moved frequently and I hate writing letters. And for those of you NOT "of a certain age", long distance phone calls were PRICEY! So I kept in touch with that friend off and on for a long time. She went through some really rough stuff, though, and I don't think I was as supportive as I could have been, but I guess I was supportive enough. We live near each other again, and our friendship is going strong at this point.
Reading her post made me get teary-eyed, and here's why. As a life-long singleton, with no children, and very limited family connections, I struggle (when I think about it) with wondering what impact I've had on anything or anyone in my life. I haven't had many long-term relationships, and honestly, those that I have had were very dysfunctional. I don't really feel as if I have any close friends, and sometimes I wonder why I am healthy and kicking when so many people who have close families or some real impact on the world get sick or pass away. Like, when I am feeling dark, I think who would notice if I were just gone? Fortunately I do not feel like that very often. And I don't unpack and live there when I do.
Still, when I consider life, there are three things that have really stuck with me that people have told me.
One: the comment I referenced above. I think I must have made an impact on her life for her to consider me her true friend for so long.
Two: one of my employees once told me that I was her role model in life, because I showed her that a woman can be independent, happy, and successful without being married.
Three: starting with my family as I was growing up, and through to now, people have told me that being around me makes them feel upbeat and happy and like anything is possible.
Anyway, I wanted to get this out and written down because sometimes I like to read back over my blogs to sort of revisit my feelings and emotions. I hope, if you read this far, that you take time to remember that I think all of us have qualities that impact people in our lives, whether we know it or not.
Be well, blogland!
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11 comments
I was so good to see and read this post of yours. You may no longer post often but I love reading yours when you do. I I hear you when you say you suck at writing letters. I do too. Too often it is because I either do not know what to say or have too much to say and do not know how to say it. I have the same problem replying to posts. One reason I am so late with this one.
So, I shall just try to shrink it down to the most important thought. I think you are a very interesting and worthwhile person to know and I always enjoy seeing you post.
Sending you big encouraging hugs.
I am equally thrilled to see your posts, even when they are short and just say hello.
It is nice to be seen by friends.
I hear ya! I SUCK at "staying in touch". Former friends, coworkers, etc. It really troubles me when I read the stuff that says the most effective way for us older folks to stay healthy is a robust social life. I sure ain't got that. My own fault - no doubt - but how to remedy it?
The REAL irony - the ones that know me best, that I do stay in touch with in some way, are my blogging buddies - YEAH, like you! 💋
Awww Bux, you are amazing!! And you are beautiful and sexy for any age, you always have been in the years Ive known you. I will echo the sentiment - that you bring a sense of joy and happiness where ever you go. You have such a positive energy. I can see you as a role model, because of the way you carry yourself with your work ethic, empathy, and you have a strength I don't think you always acknowledge you have. When the chips are down, I have no doubt you are someone can depend on even if its been a while since youve communicated. You care and yet are not a push-over. You are absolutely fan-frakkng-tastic just the way you are. Well I mean I won't hold your questionable choice in sports teams where you're a Philly girl, but hey no one is perfect winks but you are pretty close. Hugs
Awwww JP! You made my day! Week. Maybe my month.
Thank you for excusing my Eagles fanhood, but... can you blame me? LOL
That's the key, right? We don't really know how we affect others just by breathing. Most of the time people don't really say anything that deep about someone else. Whether or not we know the effect we have on others, the truth of it is that we do have an effect. I would venture to say that it's mostly positive. For the things that others have told me personally in how I have helped them one way or another in their career, I tend to think they are overstating. Maybe it's just a sad, natural fact that we downplay our existence and its influence on others.
PS...side note about the reunion...the clicks went away by the 20th. By that point, people just seem to remember the essence of who you were in school. People who never spoke to me until then always said that they just remembered that I was smart and nice. I never thought they thought about me at all. I'm glad you are going.
Hi Kay! Since social media has come about (isn't it weird to think how we all got by before there were even personal computers?), I have found out that there were a lot of people who remember me from back in the day. I never knew! Sometimes I feel as if I was actually pretty popular in the ways that matter - I didn't have a boyfriend, and I was never invited to many parties, but it seems people from all different groups considered me a friend. I'm also kind of glad I didn't know, because the people who considered themselves popular were always real jerks!
@buxombbw4u My ex came to my 20th high school reunion, and I realized then that we never would have dated in high school. Lol. He got on so well with the jocks.
As far as I know, I have one friend that I have known for 60yrs.
That's a long time to maintain a friendship. Good on you!
My 50th HS reunion is this summer and I have NO plans to go. It doesn't help that it's a 10 hour drive to my home town. I reviewed the planned activities and...meh, it just didn't sound fun. Honestly the only thing that might be interesting is seeing the changes in my home town since the last time I was there, which would have been almost 50 years ago.
Longtime friends are so valuable! I met my longest friend when I was a sophomore in college so we have known each other about 48 years. We were roommates a couple of times and both times ended disastrously with the two of us barely speaking to each other. Nevertheless somehow we always reconnected and now we're solid friends. I'm happy to have her in my life.
I lived away from my high school alma mater for a lot of years. But now I'm just 8 miles away, so I don't have that excuse. The thing about living back here is that I just never know when I'm going to bump into someone who knows me, and I look pretty much the same (but older, of course) so I do get recognized fairly regularly. I also have a bunch of friends from back then that I get together with about once every other month, which I've found is pretty nice. I'm glad you and your ex-roomie have reconciled and get along... living with someone is challenging at best. I last had a roommate (there were 4 of us in a duplex) when I was 24 and I don't keep in touch with any of them.
Good to see you, Buxie!
I sometimes wonder the same thing, but a friend once told me that me remembering her birthday helps pull her out of her dark moments. Guess I am doing some good.
It is always good to see you too.
I think you remembering your friend’s birthday every year is kind of a big deal. I mean, most people don’t, and who doesn’t like celebrating their own personal holiday?
It's great your friend called you out for being her longest friend.
Like you, I haven't got children and wonder what my life is all about. But having an effect on someone's life isn't dependent on kids.
Hey there spunky! No, life isn’t all about kids and all that, and I’m fairly content with how my life has worked out. But I do wonder what my legacy will be. Or maybe it is ok to not have a legacy.